It’s 12:00am and I have been thinking about this for a while.  Here in 2019, I have witnessed my fair share of death.  In May, I loss my favorite Uncle who was apart of my life from my first memories. I am no stranger to death, but as we get older we become more conscious of our demise, which is the common denominator that we call death.  It’s the only thing that levels the playing field for all of us.  No matter how rich you are or poor you are we all don’t know the day that we will leave here unless we choose that day for ourselves.  Hell, we’re not even promised that we’ll even wake up the next day.

With death lingering around in ’19 it has put me into a different space as of late.  A lot of people sweat the small shit and lose sight of the larger picture.  I made a commitment in 2019 that if I have/had any tension with an individual that I’ve written it off in my early 30’s.  Life is too short to hold grudges and not move toward the phase of forgiveness.  It doesn’t mean, I’ve forgotten anything because we learn from those experiences-it just means I’ve tried to learn how to truly forgive.  I’ve learned that within reason, most conflicts can be remedied with communication.  It is very often that we choose not to implore that very simple God given gift.  When used correctly it can put out the largest fires and clear up the most simple misunderstandings.

I sit here vibing to Rick Ross and Drake’s track Gold Roses, which in retrospects speaks about giving people their roses while they are still here. In the last few months this has become my main motivation.  Telling the people who matter the most to me that I care about them.  I’ve learned the importance of quality time, as time waits for no one. For me, I don’t put terms on the time that I spend with loved ones, because whatever we maybe doing we’re making memories.

It is the one thing that we cannot get back, so we must make the best of it.  The moment you and a particular individual parts way, one may never know if that is the last time we will see that person.  This reason alone is a reason why people should strive to make the best of their time with loved ones.

While knowing that my Uncle’s last days were near, it really dawned on me within the last few weeks that I spent with him that it is some heavy shit to stare death in its face.  To walk with a loved one as they take their final steps in this life is one of the most sobering things you can participate in.  As an individual comes to terms with their demise by reflecting and sometime regretting moments in life you can not help but put your own life into some type of perspective.  You reflect on your purpose, people that you may have done wrong, people that have done you wrong, dreams, and how can you simply improve in the time that you have.  Expressing to my Uncle to be proud of the life that he lead and to furthermore express the love/appreciation that I had for the times we shared was one of the most rewarding things.  It was one of the only ways that I felt I could comfort him in that delicate time.  I have no regrets or words that I wish I would’ve told him, because I got a chance to do that.  While I figuratively tried my best to put flowers in his face while he was here, it showed me that I could give it more effort for the loved ones still here.  Have yourself in place that the rose that you give in death are just an addition to the rose that were given when that person was alive to receive them.

For followers of my blog, I encourage you to clear the air with individuals who you may not be on the best terms with.  Tell your love ones how much they mean to you and take advantage of the time that you have with them.